I find I'm having trouble writing the review for this book. I was floored by the roller-coaster it turned out to be, and all the pain that was on every page. At the same time, I am reluctant to give it five full stars, because I feel there were a couple of things missing. I missed that the character of David wasn't more developed. I never got a true sense of his pain of losing Zach to the kidnapping. He felt more like a tough basket ball, bouncing back. Rubbery.Second, I felt Zach's character to be incoherent with the hell he had been through. Of course, everyone goes through traumatic events in different ways, and how we come out on the other side is anyone's guess. I just didn't feel he was the same character even on all pages of the book itself. Incoherent. I thought it was all going to blow up in their faces in the end, and that would have been better, it would have made it a bit less of a given. As it were, it followed the same old, same old, love fixes all-formula. Real life, and real life PTSD very often does not. It would have been nice to get real, here.This was not an easy book to read, and probably not easy to write. And write is something this author does well. I'd like to see more. This book could have done with one more crash-panic-bomb before the end, it was gearing up for it, setting the stage, having me tremble, and then let it go, making me feel much like when a proficient, but not fantastic, lover cannot seem to get it right; like missing the elusive g-spot of literature, as it were. (Or, being M/M-Romance, perhaps I should say p-spot?)It kind of went a bit woooooof at the end, losing all the air, and me with it. Still, well worth both the money I spent on it, and the four stars it gets back from me. Good language usage is worth a lot, to me, and this author clearly edits well. ***I was NOT asked to read this book by anyone, I paid for it with my own money, as I do for all the books I read, all the music I listen to and the movies I watch.